5.02.2011

Staying Positive

Tired. Run down. Achy. Weary. 

That's me today.
And most days.

Do you suffer from a Chronic illness? How do you stay positive? 

I try. 

I try to remember how good I've got it. How I've been incredibly blessed. How so many others have it much, much worse. It works for a while.

Then I'm back to being sick...and tired.....and sick and tired. With no end in sight. 

Maybe if I didn't look in the mirror and immediately see the 20 lbs I've gained from this.

Maybe if I didn't look around the house and see the many, many things that need to be cleaned.

Maybe if I didn't look at my calendar and see so many things "to do" with no energy to do it.

I have good days with my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome....days when I really almost believe that maybe...just maybe....it's gone!

I have days when I get things done...when I feel like I'm myself again.

But those days don't last, and don't come very often.

I have been coming to terms with the idea that I can not do what I used to. My self-definition has changed...and changed again. I'm not a bad person. But those thoughts are constantly changing and evolving. The doctors tell me I'll most likely have this forever. So how do I stay positive?

I'm learning. I'm trying. I fail sometimes...but try again. I go through moments of self-loathing, then self-love. But I want to get positive and STAY that way! I'm doing my best to be smart about this, to turn to the Lord, to prioritize the "to-dos" and learn to let things go. 

What should my strategy be? What works for you? I can't be alone in trying to learn positive thinking and affirmations. This is one  area that I'm still trying to learn what works for me. What works for you?



12 comments:

kathee said...

I have health problems too, and I get down on myself a lot. I always compare myself to how I used to be and it makes my husband mad. He reminds me all the time of what my neurosurgeon told me after my crainiotomy when I complained that I was different. "There is no more of that 'normal' Kathee, THIS is your NEW normal now. Adjust to it and don't beat yourself up over it." I just blogged about getting over myself and on with my life yesterday here:

http://kathomslife.blogspot.com/2011/05/growth.html

Mommy Minded said...

I just posted the same thing today! Maybe its the weather :(

Megan
mommyminded.blogspot.com

Nora said...

I have Fibromyalgia.. so I'm going to watch this post and see what I can do also x x

Kathy T. said...

Hang in there. Everyone has ups and downs. It's really hard though when you're faced with limitations.

I've always liked the Serenity Prayer. Courage to change the things you can, Serenity - or coming to peace - with the things you can't and the wisdom to know the difference between the two.

Good luck on your journey.

Pam said...

Hey Bobbi,

I am a long time reader but I don't post in response to your posts very often. Have you considered changing your diet at all? Lots of times wheat and dairy can aggravate conditions like that. You might consider doing some reading up on primal living (markdailyapple.com)

Hopefully with nicer weather on the way you will start to feel better

Mary said...

Bobi-Jo, I had no idea that you had a chronic illness. I'm so sorry that you have chronic fatigue. I have a couple things that I've been dealing with for the past 15 years. I have some good days, some not so good days and some very bad days. I get through it with as positive an attitude as possible. I can not do many of the things that I once did......heck even things that I was able to do last year. But I keep going, I keep smiling(most of the time) even when I want to cry. I have learned to accept my limitations as best I can (I'm only human).Like you I think about how things can be worse and one day will be. So for now I do the best that I can and just keep going. I cry when I need to and laugh as much as possible. I eat healthy and sleep when I can. The only exercise that I can do now is walk.So when the wethar is good I get out and walk even when I'm fatigued and hurting. I take each day as it comes and do my best. Thank you for sharing your tough times and for bringing this up. I too, would love to know what otheres with chronic illness do keep going.

By the way, You have been a huge bright spot in my day. I love reading about your photography, your family and looking at all of your beautiful photos. When I visit your blog I always leave smiling. :)

Mary

Domestic C.O.O. said...

Hey Beej,
I to struggle with staying positive. Mine is from comparing myself to other "super Mom's" who can be great Mom's and able to craft and be organized etc. all at the same time. I know it isn't a chronic illness that gets me down but induldge me if you will (I am going somewhere with this). So what I am trying to say is that it is inevitable that we have low times and high times. I believe it is part of our experience here on earth. 2 Nephi 2:11-13 comes to mind. If we don't know the hard times we won't know the happy times either. I think what we do with the low times is what our Father in Heaven is waiting to see and hoping we turn to him. Some may let it get the best of them and their struggles beat them down. While others turn to Him and allow the atonement to work in their lives. Don't beat your self up for having bad days. I know that because of your faith in Jesus Christ he will always help you come out of it when it is time. I am grateful for your example and how well you take things in stride. I would be worried about you if you didn't have off days. I am just glad you admit them!

Anonymous said...

Always remember that you are the daughter of the Most High God. Joseph asked while he was in jail about the things he was suffering, his Father told him that those experiences are to his good. You have brought so much joy and happiness to others with your photography, it's my thought that you are just where you belong to do the most good for your brothers and sisters that share this world with you. And this is just my own little thought - if you can - hire someone to do the cleaning. It seems you have a higher calling. I am grateful for your inspiration. Tony Horton, creator of P90X, says, "Do your best and forget the rest." Just do your best- that is all anyone, even you, can ask. You are amazing.

Anonymous said...

Something that may be helpful is doing self-Acupressure. There is a great book out there to help you learn how to do this, and as it is free and easy to do, it is a great option for those who need/want help with their health who can't afford to go for various treatments. The book is called "Acupressure for Emotional Healing" -- very profound, and addresses diet as well as the different treatment routines you can do for yourself. Hope that helps! :)

Amy said...

I'm sorry you're having these struggles.

As long as I can remember, my mom has had three fixes to EVERY problem: Take a walk. Drink some water. Go to church.

A lot of the time, my siblings and I roll our eyes at her...but her advice really does help.

Taking a walk--i.e. make sure you're getting outside and getting some oxygen circulating.

Drink some water--make sure you're not depriving yourself of the things it needs to feel good.

Go to church--making sure you have that spiritual help.

This isn't going to cure anything. But I think more than anything, it helps your mental health.

Lynn said...

Hey Bobbi. So sorry you are going through some of your bad days right now. Wish I lived closer. I would be over there in a heart beat, to help out.

Since you asked....I think you are hitting the nail on the head already in your thoughts on how to stay positive and I love some of your readers comments too.

The thing that helped me most, was to "let things go"..just like you mentioned. It's hard to do when all we want to do is so many wonderful and GOOD things. But remember that talk that was given by Elder Oaks I think? Good, better and Best?

Once I sat down and prioritized what was "Best" out of all the good things I was doing....it's helped immensely. I can more easily say "no" to a lot of things now and actually feel GOOD about it. ; D

Half the battle of feeling down or not "positive" is the stress or mental battle that goes on if we have too much on our plates.

Just my two cents worth.

Hugs!!! Love you tons. Hope you have one of you better days soon.

Anonymous said...

I too have a chronic illness, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. Basically my immune system is destroying my thyroid leading to extreme exhaustion and pain many days on top of a 60 lb weight gain in 2 months. The things that keep me going are prayer, being humble enough to know that I have limitations and by giving to others. Giving to others has helped me see that others have it bad or worse too. It's balancing for me. I hope this helps some and just keep on trying. It's all we can do.