That's what I need to do. I've really done it this time...taken on WAY too much. I'm in over my head.
I am ecstatic to be having my parents, and hubby's parents, as well as my SIL and niece in town this weekend for my daughter's baptism. I've been looking forward to it for a long, long time. I've been trying to get some deep cleaning done in the house (which is kind of redundant with kids running around un-cleaning as quick as I finish), and getting menus prepared for their visit. I've actually been enjoying that part of my craziness. However, on top of that I've been working like mad on the decorations for the Stake Relief Society activity next weekend (May 3) and so far have had 5 other women offer to help. Even with their help, things seem to coming along too slowly. I've got 16 centerpeices to finish, big tissue pom poms to finish, an art display to pull together, favors to make for each sister (130) etc. etc. etc. I'm NOT doing it all on my own - I've actually been delegating quite a bit, but it just seems that there isn't enough help to be found. It's becoming a big source of stress this week. And, I haven't intentionally been leaving things to the last minute, I only had less than 2 weeks notice to pull this together. I was also writing talks for the last 2 weeks which I spoke each week.
I am also still in charge of the ward bulletin, which I thought was supposed to be a 2 week thing, but has turned into 2 months and still going. I'm trying to pull together the bulletin for this Sunday, as well as finish up a program for TJ's baptism, AND practise playing piano for a song I'm being the pianist for AT the Stake Relief Society meeting next week, which I agreed to 3 weeks ago, BEFORE I knew I'd be asked to head up the decorating.
The last two days I've also been contacted about photographing 2 weddings, a maternity and newborn shoot, and a family photo shoot. All to take place in the next 6 weeks or so. While this is exactly what I want, it seems like my well is drying up faster than I can fill it! I am not like those superwomen who thrive on having full plates, who do really well under pressure. I feel like I've got to set some limits, but I find it SO impossible to say no. I feel like I'm letting people down if I say no, and I've always been taught not to be idle, to always make sure I'm pulling my weight. Am I the only one who feels that way sometimes? I seriously doubt it.
How do you set limits for yourself? I feel like I might crash and burn soon. I am going to drop the ball somewhere, and if not - I'm simply going to pass out. I think after May 3rd much of the stress will have passed, but how do I survive until then? I really want this activity to pull together nicely. I want the sisters to feel pampered, to be amazed by the decorations. Anyone who knows me well knows that if I take on a project, I'm never satisfied unless I give 100% and have it come off just as I planned. I just think I'm losing it a little. I've still got my calling to think about (Enrichment leader) and SOMEWHERE in there I've got to be a mother and a wife. If I'm lucky, I'll find time to make breakfast, lunch, and dinner, read to my kids, play with them, pamper my husband, say prayers, read scriptures, write in my journal (i.e. my blog - LOL!) and maybe even relax a bit. HA!
Okay, I think I'm done venting. I think I can do this. I just need 2 extra hands and another 12 hours in a day.
11 comments:
You are a crazy woman! I think you need more then one set of extra hands to help pull everything off. Ever think of cloning yourself?
It is so hard to say no, I used to be terrible at it until I had a major burn out. Then I clued in that it felt good to say no sometimes. I say it a lot more then I ever used to, but still get in over my head.
Good luck with everything. As only you can you'll pull everything off in amazing style and grace and looking amazing while doing it.
Oh- Bobbi you sweet girl. Let me tell you I do the same thing and it just kills me. I don't have any advice for you but to learn the word no. And use it every once in a while.
THIS TOO SHALL PASS....
I think the MOST important thing you have going on is that babtism. Not the family coming into town--- but that of really making the day special for your Daughter and making sure she understands it. Other than that everything else will fall into place. They will!
Good luck!
The only advice I can give you is something my mother taught me. When you are cleaning your home, do one room at a time. Once the room is neat and tidy (and hopefully shiny clean!), close the door and that room becomes off limits. I try to do this with my three kids and I usually leave their bedrooms to do last since they have lots of toys in there that can occupy them while I clean. It's a simple thing, but it works. I also do 10-minute cleanups with my kids...I set the stove timer and they have to try and beat the clock by tidying up their rooms and finishing before the timer goes. It seems to work...don't all kids like a race (oh yeah, and the treat at the end too!)
Try to relax and enjoy your daughter's baptism. It's such an important day. I was more nervous for my kids' baptisms than I was for my own wedding! LOL!
Good luck :)
Oh, it's not just me! Thank goodness. I'm nowhere near as busy as you seem to be, and although there seems to be a lot going on in my head, on my 'busy'plate, I'm fairly lazy.
If you stretch yourself too thin, you're not helping ANY of these tasks get accomplished in the way you'd be happy with. So know your limits and deal with knowing that you're gonna give your 100% to those limits.
You ARE a supermom by just showing your kids service and reality. It's okay to ask for help from sisters, from spouse, and from the Lord. You'll get it from at least ONE of them, if not all!
Sorry to hear that you are feeling overwhelmed. I bet if you ask your family to help with some of the stuff they'd be more than happy to help out. It will help you out and you'll get a great visit in. I hope things get better more quickly and that more people step up to help. It will be such a great weekend with the Baptism. Just enjoy it and then move on to the next step. One day at a time.
Oh, Bobbi...
If I were there I would totally do the tissue poms-poms for you!
It is hard when you've already committed yourself to a bunch of stuff and then find that it is just TOO much. Whenever this happens to me I just try to get thru it and then make an honest effort to have NOTHING on my schedule for a good few weeks. Take care of yourself and remember that it IS okay to say no.
I know it will all be amazing...good luck!
:)
My advice? You said it in your title. Just "breathe". : D
I have also learned a few "tricks" over the years. I am not perfect yet at saying "no", cause I still tend to take on WAY too much...however, here is what sometimes works for me...
1. Turn on some really mellow music as you go around cleaning the house. It clears my mind and de-stresses me. You'd be amazed at what it does to the kids moods too. The music totally tones down the hyper-ness.
2. I have always done what Tracie's mom taught her. Once a room is clean that really doesn't need anyone in there for awhile....it gets locked. Especially if company is coming. We have two bathrooms in the house. When the main one gets clean, it gets locked up. Then everyone in the family just uses the one we have in our bedroom, right up until the company comes. Then the company can enjoy a clean bathroom when they arrive.
3. Saying "No" is SO hard to do. So I have set my limits. I now tell people what my limits are. If someone calls and I have already said yes to three things (you can decide what your limit is) then I say, "I'm sorry. I am going to have to say no. I just committed myself to three other things just before you. If you had called earlier, I could have said yes. Please check back with me another time, and I would be happy to say yes, after my first three commitments are completed."........that is usually my standard answer and limits with church callings. For our home business (ie. your photography) it's something like this "I would love to take you on as a client. However, I am completely booked up until (insert date here)....may we look at a later date for you?"
YOu'd be amazed at how much better life will be for you. I was! Someone had to give me this advice and I have slowly gotten braver at telling people my limits. As they say "NO one is happy unless mom is happy". LOL!
I wish you much fun while your family is there! I am sure the baptism and RS party will be fantastic.
♥ That's a lot on your plate! I know for me it seems like either it's feast or famine! One week is just jammed pack but then the next isn't... And usually there's no changing it because the dates are stuckkkk! Good luck! :)
I'd tell the RS Pres that either she gets other sisters to help or it doesn't get done! Harsh, I know, but if there are going to be 130 sisters at the dinner then you should have a good dozen or so helping to decorate. Your daughter's baptism and other family commitments take priority and the RS event is second. Will the dinner be less of a success with fewer decorations? If not, I'd cut some of them out. You cannot be burning out because of it! You need to look after yourself, otherwise you will no use to anyone :) If there wasn't this huge pond between us, I'd be over to help :)
Hey Bobbi, I'm in your room reading your blog....in your room!! heeheheee...the house looks great, dinner was amazing and you look so happy and content here. We're loving our visit. See you soon, oh wait, you're in the other room... = )
Hi Bobbie-Jo
Can I do anything to help? I didn't sign up last sunday for the decorating because I can't help actually decorate that day but if I can do anything from home I am happy to help. Let me know okay?
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