9.23.2007

"God willing..."

I've heard that phrase in passing, on the TV or in movies. It's something I hear often but don't notice like "knock on wood" or "cross your fingers" only this saying holds more truth in it than the others. It's been something that I've been trying to LIVE, lately especially. God willing...

Making the decision to pick up and move to another province was not a simple thing, though it was quick (at least in my eyes). We are firm believers in the workings of the Lord in our lives, and it was one of those things where everything seemed to fall into place - enough so that we made the decision to go through the Temple with the question of moving on our minds. We know we received a witness in our hearts that it was the right thing. This part is hard for me to explain to anyone who hasn't experienced it. Anyway - we made the decision based on the testimony in our hearts that it was the Lord's will.

Since then everything seems to be falling apart - all of our great plans, everything that seemed to fit so nicely when we made our decision. The job fell through, the house market out there wasn't what we thought, our house here hasn't had so much as an offer, the money situation is very tight, and the latest bit of fun - being stranded on the highway at night in the pouring rain with four small children with an alternator issue. {Insert big long, weary sigh}

Are we still moving to the city we planned? Absolutely. This part is even harder to explain then the last part. Why would we even consider moving now when there seem to be no prospects for us anymore? Well, my experience has been that when something is right - there is opposition to it. Always. The decision was right when we received a witness a few weeks back. The decision is still right now, though we can see no solution at present of how things can possibly play out. This takes me back to the beginning. "God willing..." I believe that it IS God's will that we go to Saskatchewan. Why? I'm not entirely sure - definitely to reach our goals of hubby finishing his degree, having a house with a yard and a garage, living in a small town... but something inside me feels like there is more to it. I just don't see it from my standpoint. But just because I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel from here, doesn't mean it's not there. If it's God's will, it will happen. I have no doubt of that.

It is hard not being able to answer people's questions "When are you moving? Do you have a house? Does your hubby have a job?" and it's hard to ward off the stares of disbelief when I answer "No" but I can't deny the something inside me that is telling me "it will work out". I think when everything is at it's bleakest, it's just the point before the sun comes out. I'm trying desperately to remain positive, even joyful about the whole situation - despite the challenges of keeping a house tidy for showings, packing boxes as I go, holding a demanding calling in the Church, and running a household the best I can. I'm trying to see the blessings that are continually before me and it helps me to ward off those feelings of self-pity that can otherwise so easily plague me. So far so good...and things WILL work out....God willing...

7 comments:

Laura Hit said...

I felt like I needed to share my story with you. My husband and I just recently moved from Calgary as well. Originally, my husband had a job, then we decided that the job wasn't the best for our family, so we backed out. We still felt called by God to move, so we did in Faith. Boy was it hard. Hard to have people ask continuously why were moving and asking if we had jobs, with the answer being no. It was/ is (we still aren't working) hard. Knowing/ believing that this is where God wants us to be is what keeps us here. Not knowing why or what is in store makes my earthly self question if we made the decision. All in all, I believe we did and God willing, things will turn out for us. Anyways, just wanted to share.

Bobbi said...

thanks for sharing your story, Laura - so good to see other's walking by faith :)

Joanne said...

you know what is right for you and your family and it will work out- look at us moving to Calgary. I know Jason had some schooling but we had no money and no idea what was in store and look at the fabulous opportunities we experienced and the wonderful friends and Family!!! we got to know and love in the 2 years it took to get my answer of WHY Lord WHY Calgary. it'll work out and keep the faith. love ya

Mandy Collins said...

Bobbi, Matt and I went through the exact same thing that you are going through now. Matt didn't have a job. We did have a place to rent but that was it. I understand entirely what you are feeling and going through. So, though I know you are keeping your chin up just remember that it's the Lord's will.

Andrea said...

Are we the same person?? We were exactly the same- totally felt like we needed to move (although not to SK, but a smaller town far away). Know that we need to move. With no job and no family there (ya.. annoying to have people ask and give you crazy looks). After 3 months of no offers, and houses prices dropping we had to take it off the market. So hard, and we're still not sure what will happen, but not sure what else to do. So.. for now we're staying, but still planning to move one day.
That faith thing is hard when things aren't "seeming" to work out. But they will. One day.

Andrea said...

Forgot to add.. the frustrating part.. if we had been inspired to move not even 45 days previous, our house would have sold in less than a week and for $70,000 more than now. What's up with that timing??

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